Full of lies and deceit.
Returning items with no receipt.
Looking like a shepherd who has lost his sheep.
Aiming to stay abreast, looking for some type of relief.
Something to help you believe.
Believing for something better, something greater.
Looking for myself beneath all this defeat.
Watching everyone else get married, wondering why not me?
Witnessing those around me fulfill their dreams and I’m still unable to see.
Seeing past hurts and pains that lie within.
Full of misery, jealousy, hopelessness, and shame.
Seemingly on the outside, I look content and well-maintained.
No one knows my true intent.
Intent to inflict harm to others, just to win the game.
The game of getting to the top alone, like coffins with no remains.
Focused on all the wrong things, constant battles of throwing blame.
Thinking of ways to stay sane in a world full of losses with no gains.
Until one day, I examined those areas of struggle and pain.
As I addressed what lies within, I can feel the shame lift off of me.
It was as if I had new lens that enabled me to see.
See who I am and who I would like to be.
Now, my heart fills with joy and peace.
As I walk away from those issues that once caused me to weep.
I am no longer a lost sheep and understand what lies beneath is visible for all to see.
© 2016 Christa A. Hester
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Gurls Talk’n 