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Day 19 – January 19, 2018

I have been experiencing dis-ease in my body for a few days now. My husband was very ill at first. So after work each night, I’d come home and “doctor him up” to recovery. He was off from work for a week. A couple of days after he returned to his job, I laid in the bed sick.

I spent the day going over my previous days of journal entries. I felt like God was saying to me your sickness is more spiritual than physical–what is going on with me externally is a reflection of what is going on inside of me.

There is a great battle against my mind. My salvation, my love for God, my obedience to Him and to His word, my ability to take the “high road” during the hard tests of life, are also under attack. I must seek His plan for overcoming the nightmares and fears of driving (by myself, or at night, or to places I have never driven before). I must follow His blueprint for anything that is blocking my way to a victorious life.

Yes, my body is suffering from flu-like symptoms, but my heart has a leak in it. The spiritual attack is more real than the physical. I must not run away from God, but to HIM with everything within me. I must stop trying to rhyme and reason the events of my life. If there is something God wants me to know, He will share them and in His  perfect timing. I will not allow my analytical mind to get me off course again.

Daily Reflections: Today, I do not engage nor fight without God. I am putting on all the weapons He gave me: Truth, Righteousness, Peace, Faith and Salvation. These are NOT just words, but are filled with the very essence of God and Who He is in my life. He told me to put them on as though there is some indication that I do not automatically wear them all the time. Hmmm ….

“Don’t ever go into battle again without being fully dressed. We are up against more than we can imagine. Here is the weaponry I wear: I strap Truth around my loins, which protects my very sensitive body parts; I guard my heart by putting on my chest Jesus; I prepare my way by slipping on my Gospel of Peace shoes; I slip on my Faith Shield,  because the enemy will surely bombard my life with deadly arrows of accusations, discords, distrust, deceits, distractions, etc. to get me off point; and I lock on my head Salvation’s Helmet, which is God’s Word. Although most of us consider the last one to be the least among all the weapons, don’t be fooled. It is NOT. Our salvation is the very foundation of our life and who we belong to. Jesus redeemed us from sin and eternal death. Oh, and never ever leave out prayer …. this keeps you focused and humbled.” Paraphrased from Ephesians: 6:13-18 (MSG).

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 18 – January 18, 2018

My Winter Season

I’ve been under attack for a while—didn’t realize the magnitude of it until yesterday… I’ve been performing certain acts like going to church, studying, praying, reading the Bible, giving to others, worshipping, loving my family, friends, etc., etc., etc., but living apart from God.

I just recognized my heart has not been wholly towards God’s, but I’ve been overcompensating the void by “doing” things out of habit.

Do you understand what I mean? You do the right things, but for the wrong motives… my God!!!

So that’s why He stripped away the job and the travel? When my husband and I thought it was our time to move on to another home, or out-of-state, or into ministry, we’d always get so close and then, BAM, the doors slammed shut in our faces. This also explains the emptiness and unsettling feelings that never seem to go away. The periodic highs and lows. The great victories and then even greater losses. The confusion, endless sleepless nights, horrible dreams of torment, fear, depression, weight gain, sickness in our bodies, the sufferings my children are also dealing with, broken family relationships, separations of all kinds…. and the list goes on.

For a few years now, it seemed as though God has been silent to my prayers…. yet at the same time, He continues to help me by protecting me from others and myself… keeping a watchful eye… not allowing the enemy to devour me and sift me into nothingness… thank You, Father, thank You, thank You!!!

Daily Reflections: Empty your life from ALL ritualistic acts and ways and doings… remove the pride…. look in the mirror and see the truth. Are you tired of waiting for Him to answer your prayers? What if He has already answered and you are unwilling to accept it? Let go. Stop allowing your head to rule your heart. Are you following Him OR what pleases you?

Please take that hard look today!!!

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 17 – January 17, 2018

What are you looking for? A pat on the back? Someone to tell you how wonderful you are? Or an exuberant applaud for being a good parent? Maybe you’re hoping your co-workers will invite you to sit at their lunch table? Are you expecting a thank you from your siblings, spouse or children for all the sacrifices you’ve made and in some instances still making?

Please STOP! You cannot control what others say, do or think.

We try to ignore the sneers and side remarks our boss and co-workers say about us–we pretend we don’t hear them.

We deal with all kinds of disappointments and mean behaviors, yet we take the high road, don’t we? What if we decide to ride on the Gutter Train Express today? I wonder how others would feel if our roles were reversed? I’d imagine they would feel like we do: fed up, tired and disgusted.

Taking that train ride would not be a pretty picture at all. In fact, we would be adding to the chaos and spitting out negativity into the atmosphere too.

But wait, something else happens when we do ….

After we release mean words, doubts, fears, worries, un-forgiveness, and grudges in the air, the wind makes a sudden shift and all the garbage we released boomerangs back on us an hundredfold!!!

What is that horrible odor and yucky goo we now have on us? It smells disgusting and we no longer look like ourselves. This wasn’t our plan nor intentions. We only retaliated against those who deserved it, right?  Yet, when we followed their evils ways, this is our reward.

Daily Reflections: What you sow you get back and more ….

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 16 – January 16, 2018

What an odd day today is …

Today is my oldest grandson’s birthday. What is still strange for me is another year passes and I will not see him. Due to some family issues, which were beyond my control, it is has been over 10 years since the last time I laid my eyes on or held him.

I remember that day as though it was yesterday. We were all leaving Bible studies that fall Wednesday evening. He wore navy blue slacks, with a blue and brown navy sweater, with a yellow and blue bow tie–looking as cute as a button, lol!!

At the time, I didn’t know it would be the last time I would see him. Weeks later, it was confirmed when his mom made it clear to my son and the family we were not going to see him again or be apart of his life.

At first I thought it was a bad script written from a B movie. The whole family was saddened and distraught, especially my son. Since that time, we made a few attempts to get the mom to change her mind, but to no avail. With nothing left but to pick up the ragged pieces, we managed to move on.

Sometime later–not sure if it were days or weeks afterwards, I prayed and asked God to forgive all of us for all wrong doings and sin we committed known and unknown. I asked Him to allow my son, my family and I to see my grandson again, regardless of how long it takes. I prayed He would shorten the time and not allow it to be a factor. I even asked Him to supernaturally give us a wonderful relationship with my grandson, as though we have always been together.

Happy Birthday Grandson!!! Wherever you are, know that YOU ARE LOVED. Nana misses you and will see you soon ….

Daily Reflections: God keeps all of His promises. We lie and manipulate to have our own way, but not Him. He is not like us. He is good, kind, merciful and faithful. I’ll take my chances with Him.

“God, rescue us from this time of trouble.”

“And may God keep His word, and bless you just as he promised.”

Paraphrased from Psalm 25:22 and Deuteronomy 1:10, 11, respectively (MSG).

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 15 – January 15, 2018

God, why I am here? Have you ever asked Him this question? Yes, me too!! Here’s what I hear Him say, “You are here for my glory…”.

During today’s worship and prayer time, I thought about who God is to me. Though this list is long, it is incomplete. Please feel free to add your names to this list:

Melekh (King)          Father          Tsaddig (Righteous One)
Holy Trinity           El-Gibhor (Mighty God)           Jesus Christ
Eyaluth (Strength)           Purifier           El-Berith (God of Covenant)
Jehovah-Rohi (Lord our Shepherd)           Most High           The Door
El-Roi (God of seeing)           Jehovah-Sabaoth (Lord of Hosts)
Kadosh (Holy One)           Jehovah-Nissi (Lord our banner)
Bright and Morning Star           Light of the World           Yahweh
Jehovah (Lord)           Faithful and True           My Well-Beloved
Eternal God        Rose of Sharon        Jehovah-Jireh (Lord provides)
Lily of the Valley           My Shield           Abba-Father        Strong Tower
Altogether Lovely           Jehovah-Tsidkenu (Lord of Righteousness)
El-Shaddai           Our Passover Lamb           Adonai           Comforter
Holy Spirit           Gentle Whisperer           The Interpreter           Hope
Most High           Bride Groom           Alpha & Omega           Master
Vine          El-Elyon           Living Water        Jehovah-Raah     Creator
Truth           My Restorer           Author of Life           Prince of Peace
Lord of lords           Great Shepherd        Elohim        Rock of My Heart
Jehovah-Rophe (Lord Who Heals)           Mediator           Amen
The Rock           Jehovah-Shalom (Lord of Peace)           Love
Friend that loves at all times           Jehovah-Shammah (Lord is there)
The Way, The Truth & The Life           Abi (Mighty One)           Messiah
True Light           Aleph Tav           Kadosh (Holy One)           Advocate
Shaphat (Judge)           Wonderful Counselor           Gaol (Redeemer)
Magen (Shield)           Kanna (Jealous)           Palet (Deliverer)
Ancient of Days           Qanna           Stone           Sceptre out of Israel
Captain of the Hosts           The Shiloh          God         My Buckler
Jehovah-M’Kaddesh (Lord Who Sanctifies) Revealer of the Hearts
King of kings                     I AM that I AM

Daily Reflections: Who is He really to you? Who do you want Him to be in your life?

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 14 – January 14, 2018

Fear is a feeling that one experiences when something is perceived as dangerous and harmful. When fear is present, there is a metabolic change that occurs on the inside of you, which causes you to want to flee at all costs. You may want to hide as far away from whatever it is that is causing this reaction.

I wasn’t going to write about this, because in times past, when I first shared it, others laughed at and made fun of me. They’d say something like, “Really? That sounds crazy. Why would driving make you afraid?” But every time I drop the mask, I believe it brings healing to me and others who are not so brave to share their story, yet, lol.

Today, I drove out to Bourbonnais. If you know me, then you know my fear of driving on the expressway or to places I have never driven before. This has not always been the case. In fact, a few years ago, I would drive just about anywhere, with or without passengers. I had things to do and places to go–not wanting to wait on anybody, so I didn’t.

Although I have a few theories, I’m not exactly sure what happened to bring about this fear. I’ve been praying and seeking God in the matter and He is helping me.

I drove down without a hitch, but on my return trip, the road was full of other vehicles and many semi trucks. I am halfway from home. I reached a strip of road and then my heart was gripped with fear. I felt panic rise within me. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, hoping what I felt would pass. I peered out the window to the left looking for the next exit. There wasn’t one for a few more miles. I told myself, get off at the next Exit.

I was on the phone with one of my daughters (If I’m driving by myself, I like to talk with someone on the phone, which is soothing and it almost feels like that person is in the passenger seat next to me). She is talking, but I interrupted her and loudly began quoting scriptures. She stopped speaking and began agreeing with me. I shifted from the scriptures and began to pray. She also prays. I then quieted my tone and stopped yelling. My daughter then asked me if I was ok. I responded, I’m going to be. She agrees and tells me, “You’ve got this!! God’s got you…”. The fear lifts. I began to thank God and my daughter chimes in with me.

I approached the next Exit, but dared myself to stay on. I drove pass 4 or 5 more Exits. My daughter resumed her conversation and inside I kept thanking God for each exit I drove by.

Some minutes later, the fear returned. I realized I was only another 10 or 15 minutes from my destination. I get off at the next Exit, and dropped my head in defeat. I pondered, why couldn’t/didn’t I trust God all the way? Why?

We all have some fears about one thing or another. What are you afraid about? Stop running away from it, but charge right into it!

Daily Reflections: I thought I had miserly failed God. The Holy Spirit corrected and reminded me, though I was afraid before I left my house earlier that morning, I drove all the way by myself anyway.  On the way back home, when fear wanted me to stop in the middle or pull off to the side of road or get off the highway completely, I did not. Not only did I not, but I stayed on and drove passed another 5 or 6 more exits.

He did not condemn me, but cheered and encouraged me! “Continue to run to God in prayer. Keep your focus on Him and He will work out the details. Do your part and just keep getting out there… “.

“God’s name shields and protect me at all times. His children must always run to Him for safety.”

“Wherever you are, be truthful and don’t put on airs like you are someone else. God will promote and elevate you in His due season. Live honest before God and be free…”

“In the world, many do not know or obey God. Because of the world, you will experience some difficult times, but cheer up and take courage in Him, for He has conquered all things in the earth.”

Paraphrased from Proverbs 18:10, 1 Peter 5:6,7, and the latter part of John 16:33, respectively (MSG).

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 13 – January 13, 2018

It’s after 3a and I’m sitting in my living room reading and thinking about how I don’t take many risks. Too often I’d rather stay in my comfort zone.

I stop reading and put the book down to pray:

“Father, maybe my life is meant to be ordinary and simple. Maybe I am not called to move from the house I currently live in and relocate to another state, to travel the world internationally to exotic, off-beaten paths, to preach the Word to the nations, or to become an anointed prophet who heals and turns millions of souls back to God. It’s ok if I never do these things, but it is only ok if it is not Your will for me.

I don’t deserve anything You have prepared for me, I get that… Yet Your plans for my life are designed to bring You glory. So if I don’t do what You have called me to, then I am ungrateful and disrespectful to You. I shall not leave Your gifts behind untouched and unopened. I refuse to be fearful and afraid to get up, get going and go hard after You!!!”

Daily Reflections: Notice, I did not say go after things, but Him. I “get up” from my place of stagnancy, so I can fall down on my knees for guidance and direction. I “get going” in praise, believing He will come to see about me, and I “go hard” in my studies of His Word so that His spirit can enlighten my way.

“When Your children cry out for help, You give it. As Israel trusted You, they lived and enjoyed the good life, in You.”

“If you believe He exists, He cares enough to respond and bring gifts when He comes to everyone who purposely seeks Him.”

“I love those who love and search for me, for they shall not be disappointed. When I show up, I bring My Wealth and Glory too, along with a lot of Honor and a Good Name for you.” Paraphrased from Psalm 21:3-5, Hebrews 11:6, and Proverbs 8:17-18, respectively (MSG).

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 12 – January 12, 2018

Stop Wasting Time!

I spend the majority of my day at work. Today was no different, except early this morning, I saw a woman get hit by a car. The pedestrian was crossing the street at a major interaction. All of sudden, out of nowhere, a small-sized vehicle turned the corner and WHAM, hit the lady!

The pedestrian fell down to the hard, cold surface. Today’s weather was brutal: the winds were cutting and high and temps were in the low teens. I know the ground was anything but welcoming.

The moment I saw the body go down, I silently prayed, Father, please  let her be ok and not die.

Thankfully, the driver who hit the walker, immediately stopped and did not run over the lady’s, unmoving body. What appeared to be minutes later, a police car drove up (which blocked any cars from getting close to the woman on the ground). Shortly after, a firefighter truck appeared, also blocking more cars from getting near the woman, and an ambulance arrived to the scene.

Two men jumped out of the ambulance and approached the body on the ground. They stooped down and said something in the woman’s ear. To my delight, she lifted her head slightly, responded back, and the two emergency workers helped her to her feet, without a stretcher. I was amazed and delighted all at the same time.

Myself and a few other gapers continued to watch, as the lady walked to the back of the ambulance, and got in. The door closed and so did the end of this story.

Daily Reflections: What a dramatic reminder to me that my life is precious, unpredictable, and in God’s hands. Today’s event this morning could have had a different ending. I know God spared the woman’s life, and I could not help but think about my small, meager life as well. I don’t want to take it or you for granted any more. I hope you feel the same ….

“We don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. We are only wisps of fog, catching a glimpse of the sun here and there, before it disappears. Live purposely by asking Him for His will every day.” 

“Don’t waste your time on useless and busy work. Stop pursing the emptiness of darkness. Expose them instead and cease from wasting your time on things hidden in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off and wake up! Watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!” Paraphrased from James 4:14 and  Ephesians 5:11-16, respectively (MSG).

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Lights, Cameras, Action!!!

 

Day 11 – January 11, 2018

I’m sitting at my work desk with a few minutes of down time. I look over to my right and see a co-worker on the phone with a patient. She is extremely polite, gentle,  and informative with the caller.  I am so impressed with her servant’s attitude and caring heart.

Immediately after her call ends, she taps another co-worker on the shoulder (who is sitting behind her) and whispers, while pointing to her phone, “Ugh… I can’t believe some of the questions she asked me. She is so stupid!”

The two ladies laugh and continue to chit chat between themselves. I drop my stare and silently muse, did she just say that? I then recall earlier that morning I needed her help and asked her a few questions. She was just as kind and helpful with me, as she was with her caller. Hmmm, I wonder. Is that what she thinks about me too?!?!?!

My view of her has changed. Perhaps, she is not as kind, as I originally assumed.

Daily Reflections: Wearing masks are not only deceiving, but also dangerous to the wearer. It is not healthy to pretend or lie or be deceptive. You lose yourself in the process.

“You’re the One I’ve violated, and You’ve seen every act of my evil life. You have all the facts before You; I must recognize what You’re after is truth from the inside out. Enter me, then, Father and conceive a new, true life.”

“Stop fooling yourself and letting the Word go in one ear and out the other. Act on what you hear! If you continue to only hear and not act, then you will be like those who glance in the mirror, walk away, and two minutes later forget who they are and what they look like.” Paraphrased from Psalm 51:6 and James 1:22-24, respectively (MSG).

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 10 – January 10, 2018

“I’m number One,” screams the grad student as He slowly struts across the auditorium stage, flinging his diploma and a white sealed envelope  in his right hand, while holding up his index finger with his left, smiling from ear to ear. Along with his diploma, he was recently awarded a monetary gift from his principal for becoming Valedictorian of his class.

“Bravo!”

“Congratulations!”

“I knew you could do it!”

“Party time!!”

“That’s my Son!”

“You Go Boy!”

“I can’t believe you graduated!?!?!!”

… various voices echoed from the crowd. Everybody wants to be first–numero uno. No one wants second place, not even me.

Sadly, my life has been a stream of missing the Number One Mark: almost number 1 in high school (Salutatorian instead); almost the first one among my siblings to graduate from college; almost had the first born child in 1983 (my daughter was born @ 12:01a, while another woman’s son was born at 12:00:30–a measly 30 seconds before my daughter). Almost, almost, almost….

Why is it so important for me to be first? Am I being vain or prideful? I thought so until I was reminded of His word that I was created to reflect, look and act like God. Then I noticed something about the young man who proudly held up the index finger. It is pointed up.

We have been called to be One with Him, even as the Son is One with Him. So go ahead my sister and my brother and strut across the stages of your life and be the very best YOU can possibly be!!!

Daily Reflections: As I turn my finger slightly in an angle, it now looks like I am pointing away from me and up towards something else. I must always remember to do the same with my heart: turn it towards Him. It’s ok to strive to be the best, as long as I do not trample over anyone else to do so. I gave Him my life so anything I do I want others to see Him. Leaders lead ….

“Let us make human beings to reflect our nature making them responsible and leaders over everything in the earth…”

“God’s goal for our life is to become of one heart and one mind in Him …just as the Father is in Jesus and Jesus is in Him.” Paraphrased from Genesis 1:27 and John 17:22, respectively (MSG).

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 9 – January 9, 2018

Today’s Prayer:

Father, we love and trust You with our hearts. As we move about our day looking for something to satisfy our need for friendship, for approval, for love, for inclusion, for strength, You know where each of us live. Some of us have made our camps in those hard places, where we thought no one sees or cares about us. But You see and love us.

There’s no hiding from Your watchful eye. How foolish for us to believe we could…

You have a wonderful end for us. But before we can recognize it, we must search for and follow Your path and go where Your Spirit directs us for our journey.

Thank You for a safe passage…

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.

Day 8 – January 8, 2018

The story of Abraham is told of a man, not a god, who was willing to kill the one thing most precious to him: his only son, Isaac. Do you know this Bible story? Well, if you don’t, you can find it in Genesis Chapter 22. Its story is a Bible classic I’ve heard told over and over again in Sunday school. I highly recommend you read it.

I don’t pretend to have ever been instructed to give my child’s life for another, but I have suffered much at man’s hand and made great sacrifices for others.

Recently, God instructed me to shut down a part of my life—something I love. He said to my heart, “I will not bless this. Remove it.”

Has that ever happened to you before? Has someone, not just anyone, but someone who has authority over you, ever asked you to give up something you liked to do or stop seeing someone you enjoyed being around?

BAM, the door slams shut!!

There I stood at the closed space that was once an open entryway I freely walked through. The finality of what just happened is overwhelming. I continue to stand at that place lost and bewildered—not sure why. Inside I hear once again, “I will not bless it. Move on.”

Wow!

I picked my heart up off the floor, adjusted my clothes and without delay, I followed the instructions.

Daily Reflections: I don’t understand why some of my family members died so young, why my parents didn’t stay married and have a healthy marriage so my siblings and I could grow up with both parents in the home, why I’ve witnessed my children suffer; and so many other whys in my life. What I do trust is God’s plan for me—it is incomprehensible to the naked eye. Therefore, I will continue to blindly trust in, believe and adhere to His word, no matter what.

Will you?

“Put God in charge of your life’s work, then what you’ve planned will manifest and bring you success.”

”Do you think God wants the stuff you give away for show so everyone can see how wonderful you are? No, He wants you to listen to Him. He wants your obedience. I’d rather take my chance and do what God tells me than to be found following dead people and those things in my life that are dead.” Paraphrased from Proverbs 16:3 and 1 Samuel 15:22-23, respectively (MSG).

DISCLAIMER:  This information is not intended to offer any advice, but intended for entertainment and informational purposes only.  These are only our suggestions.  We do not advocate any particular service or site.