Day 14 – January 14, 2018
Fear is a feeling that one experiences when something is perceived as dangerous and harmful. When fear is present, there is a metabolic change that occurs on the inside of you, which causes you to want to flee at all costs. You may want to hide as far away from whatever it is that is causing this reaction.
I wasn’t going to write about this, because in times past, when I first shared it, others laughed at and made fun of me. They’d say something like, “Really? That sounds crazy. Why would driving make you afraid?” But every time I drop the mask, I believe it brings healing to me and others who are not so brave to share their story, yet, lol.
Today, I drove out to Bourbonnais. If you know me, then you know my fear of driving on the expressway or to places I have never driven before. This has not always been the case. In fact, a few years ago, I would drive just about anywhere, with or without passengers. I had things to do and places to go–not wanting to wait on anybody, so I didn’t.
Although I have a few theories, I’m not exactly sure what happened to bring about this fear. I’ve been praying and seeking God in the matter and He is helping me.
I drove down without a hitch, but on my return trip, the road was full of other vehicles and many semi trucks. I am halfway from home. I reached a strip of road and then my heart was gripped with fear. I felt panic rise within me. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, hoping what I felt would pass. I peered out the window to the left looking for the next exit. There wasn’t one for a few more miles. I told myself, get off at the next Exit.
I was on the phone with one of my daughters (If I’m driving by myself, I like to talk with someone on the phone, which is soothing and it almost feels like that person is in the passenger seat next to me). She is talking, but I interrupted her and loudly began quoting scriptures. She stopped speaking and began agreeing with me. I shifted from the scriptures and began to pray. She also prays. I then quieted my tone and stopped yelling. My daughter then asked me if I was ok. I responded, I’m going to be. She agrees and tells me, “You’ve got this!! God’s got you…”. The fear lifts. I began to thank God and my daughter chimes in with me.
I approached the next Exit, but dared myself to stay on. I drove pass 4 or 5 more Exits. My daughter resumed her conversation and inside I kept thanking God for each exit I drove by.
Some minutes later, the fear returned. I realized I was only another 10 or 15 minutes from my destination. I get off at the next Exit, and dropped my head in defeat. I pondered, why couldn’t/didn’t I trust God all the way? Why?
We all have some fears about one thing or another. What are you afraid about? Stop running away from it, but charge right into it!
Daily Reflections: I thought I had miserly failed God. The Holy Spirit corrected and reminded me, though I was afraid before I left my house earlier that morning, I drove all the way by myself anyway. On the way back home, when fear wanted me to stop in the middle or pull off to the side of road or get off the highway completely, I did not. Not only did I not, but I stayed on and drove passed another 5 or 6 more exits.
He did not condemn me, but cheered and encouraged me! “Continue to run to God in prayer. Keep your focus on Him and He will work out the details. Do your part and just keep getting out there… “.
“God’s name shields and protect me at all times. His children must always run to Him for safety.”
“Wherever you are, be truthful and don’t put on airs like you are someone else. God will promote and elevate you in His due season. Live honest before God and be free…”
“In the world, many do not know or obey God. Because of the world, you will experience some difficult times, but cheer up and take courage in Him, for He has conquered all things in the earth.”
Paraphrased from Proverbs 18:10, 1 Peter 5:6,7, and the latter part of John 16:33, respectively (MSG).
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When Mike returned home from work that night, I shared with him what God said, apologized for going against his wishes, asked his forgiveness and then cried again. He looked at me warmly, and said, “I forgive you Babe.” I walked away, totally forgetting God also told me to ask him to pray for me. As I walked a few steps away, Mike called me back and said, “God just told me to pray for you.” He laid his right hand on my hair and did just that!
Gurls Talk’n 