Free In My Skin by Leah

While attending a ladies brunch, I was so blessed by the moderator’s transparency and willingness to share her “true” self. As I listened to her tell her story, the pressure in my shoulders and back began to lift, and my eyes shifted its view.  I saw her in a different, more loving light.

Suddenly it hit me!!! Her words of doubt, hurt, frustration, burden, suicide, disgust, and exhaustion were all too familiar to ME!!! As she continued speaking for the next few minutes, I closed my eyes as she faded in the background.  I no longer saw or heard her, but I was tuned in to my own inner fears.  A voice screamed: “Help!! Help!! Anybody, somebody please HELP ME!!!”

To the world, I look sane, healthy and fine, but there were times I was hurt by others or I was disappointed with bad decisions I made.  Somewhere along the way, I realized anyone on any given day wears a mask.  Sometimes it is worn so often until we forget who we really are.

I confess I wear masks too–attempting to hide or disappear–not realizing my disappearances somehow blocks truth from entering in. I have worn masks for so long until I am not always aware when I put them on.

Because I have a wonderful husband & family, physically healthy, a peaceful home, a nice job, good friends and thoughtful neighbors, why would I wear masks?

My siblings and I were raised to speak only when spoken to, children should be seen and not heard, don’t trust anyone, anything that goes on at home stayed at home, and don’t let others get too close.  So as an adult, I learned the hard way that having a spouse, family, home, and career were not enough.  I needed something more, Someone…

One day I found Him.  Hopefully, you will too.  He will show you who you really want to be, should be….

Just keep living …

I left the brunch desperate for more precious encounters like this. I pleaded with God for His direction. Then a thought occurred to me: Are there other women who feel the way I do? Having the truth, but allowing the cares of the world to swallow them up?  My mom taught us the best way to get out of a rut was to go and find someone else in trouble and help them.  Soon your troubles would become minimal.

Well, I decided to do just that!! I purposed in my heart from that day forward to maximize every opportunity to extend myself to others without a mask, inhibitions or fear.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s still plenty of room for me to continue to grow, but I was born for His greatness and I’m going to act like I believe it!!!

How can I accomplish such great a task?

I will stop looking at me and focus on strengthening, encouraging, comforting, and inspiring my sisters so they can see THEIR greatness as well.

A long time ago I walked away from shame and sin so I could be FREE to be me IN MY SKIN.

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