I Need a Life Part 2: Destiny is That You? by Chris

I’ve been thinking a lot about what life would be like if I went back to work. Would my house be more or less clean? Would my children continue to thrive in school?  Who would pick up and drop off three kids at three different schools, during three different times, twice per day?

Who would potty train my 2 year-old and continue to home school my 4 year-old to prepare him for kindergarten next year? Who would cook the meals, do the laundry and clean the house during the week?

Often I hear, “Oh, you’re just a mom” as though what I do is less important.  It is very annoying. Annoying because, sometimes I feel the same way about myself. So hearing someone say, “When I see you, all I see is mommy”, makes me feel unappreciated.
I know “they” don’t mean any harm, but inside I’m thinking, “Hello people, I have earned a Masters degree in Finance so I know when someone is making less of motherhood versus people who work a “real” job!!!”

Before the kids, I worked outside the home for several years and even a couple of years in between my two oldest and three younger children.

When I worked, my days were just as long and my house looks about the same (not any cleaner or dirtier, lol). However, my kids do eat more healthier, home cooked meals most days, and they each spend extra time with mommy; not to mention, their clothes are always clean and ironed😉.

Even after saying all of that, I see my doctor, lawyer, the kids’ social worker, guidance counselor, and some of my relatives and friends who are professional educators who work outside their homes.  I look at their accomplishments and I often compare myself to them. I have the most kids out of all my girlfriends and I no longer work in a professional setting.

It seems as though no one really understands the real struggles I face on a daily basis.  Staying at home to raise 5 kids is more than one full-time job.  It involves non-stop work, endless days and sleepless nights, 365 days with no overtime pay, no paid time off nor year-end bonus.

I don’t do the “clubbing” thing. Heck, I don’t get out much, if at all, lol.

As much as I love being with my kids, I feel I am missing something.  Has my destiny been put on hold?  Is it sitting on a bookshelf waiting for the duster?

Recently, I started this activity for myself.  I write five different questions once a week as a reminder to keep me thinking about my purpose and to encourage myself.  Here are five examples:

1. What did I enjoy doing before I had children?

2. What gives me excitement and fulfillment outside of my children?

3. What relieves my stress when I have long, tiring days?

4. Where do I see myself when the kids get older?  In 1, 5 or 10 years from now?

5. What am I doing now to prepare for the next 1, 5 or 10 years?

I realize going to and finishing college, getting married, having children and staying at home with the kids are only the beginning of my journey.  As I answer these and similar questions, my goal IS NOT to forget I have purpose and stay the course.

Destiny, I hear you calling and I am on my way!

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