Journey With Me by Lee (Day 3 of 31)

Day 3 – January 3, 2018

Can we talk about hair today?

Mid 2010, my oldest daughter convinced me to join her healthy hair movement by “going natural”. I said ok and then over the next 2 to 3 months, I gradually cut the ends of my hair in order to get rid of the perm. After the 3rd month or so, I was sure I got out all the perm (some two plus years later, I realized I had not).

My hair began to grow, but very slowly at first. I changed hair products several times, hoping it would help. After almost a year and with my daughter’s help, it started to grow back more.

Let’s fast forward to today. In September 2017, after years of wishing I would’ve just did the “Big Chop,” I finally convinced myself I would get rid of all the perm and start afresh–a whole new head of hair, healthy and shining and strong!! Also, I wanted a new look too.

My grays were growing out quicker than I could color them. So I thought, Lee, you need to embrace them and stop running.

I went to my husband one night and said, “Babe, I’m thinking about cutting my hair. What do you think?” He said, “No, don’t do it.” For the next few days, I kept asking him, until one night, exasperated with me, he said, “Just do whatever you’re going to do! I cannot stop you and your hair woes…”

I thought, finally, he is not going to stop me. He approves (while inside I knew he did not). The very next day I cut all of my hair off–it was very long. The following week, I went to the beauty salon and had the stylist bleach my hair blonde. It was gorgeous and I received soooo many compliments. Then ….. it started falling out. I thought it was the products I was using, so I bought new products and changed them over and over. I added more moisture and more oil. It would grow, then fall out–grow, then fall out.

One night after washing my hair and more of it fell out, I cried out in despair, “Oh Lord, what is wrong with my hair?” Why did I ask that? He answered, “Your husband asked you not to cut your hair, but you would not listen. He was not in agreement with what you did.”

I sat down on the bathroom floor and cried like a baby. I told God I was sorry for disobeying Him. God said, “Ok, but first you must ask your husband to forgive and pray for you.” I said, “Ok.”

When Mike returned home from work that night, I shared with him what God said, apologized for going against his wishes, asked his forgiveness and then cried again. He looked at me warmly, and said, “I forgive you Babe.” I walked away, totally forgetting God also told me to ask him to pray for me. As I walked a few steps away, Mike called me back and said, “God just told me to pray for you.” He laid his right hand on my hair and did just that!

I don’t profess to have ‘arrived’, but I’m appreciative of this lesson and have used its principle since then in my marriage and other areas of my life in general.

Daily Reflections: As wives, we must examine our positions in our marriage. We have NOT been given the leadership role. God reserved that for our husbands. Wife, when you said ‘I do’, you agreed to submit to another person’s leadership, and ideas and goals, and ….. Remember, your husband paid a ‘price’ to God when he said, ‘I do’ too. He promised to cherish, love and protect you all the days of your life. If he doesn’t do his duty, then he has to answer to God Himself.

For my Single Ladies who may have thought, oh this one is for the married ladies. I don’t need to pay attention. Think again. It is for you too! Think of it in this manner: Marriage is a form of agreement. Who are you in a covenant with? Who has God placed in authority over you? Who’s advice and leadership are you following? Hmmm…

“…Marriage (an agreement) is not a place for “women’s liberation” (you to liberate from) or for you to stand up to your ‘rights’. When you got married (willingly got into that agreement),  you agreed that marriage (the terms of the agreement) was your decision to serve the other person in all things…” Paraphrased from the latter part of 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 (MSG).

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